


SCP-4517-J - The Room

by helarctos



Category: The Room (2003)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-26
Updated: 2010-12-26
Packaged: 2017-10-14 03:31:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/144870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helarctos/pseuds/helarctos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Format, etc, completely cribbed from the <a href="http://scp-wiki.wikidot.org">SCP Foundation</a>.  Doctors Kondraki and Bright are not mine; various agents supplied in this text are, sort of.  I leave Agent Gladstone's identity as an exercise for the TGIF-loving reader.</p><p>(Edited to fix the broken link to the SCP wiki and to add: The house on 3 Blood Street is, of course, the <a href="http://www.atom.com/channel/channel_the_house_that_drips_blood_on_alex/">House that Drips Blood on Alex</a>, as per moleskinned's suggestion!  Thank you for introducing me to this masterwork of modern cinema, moleskinned.   I had never seen it before I read the prompt.  Now ... I can never un-see it.)</p></blockquote>





	SCP-4517-J - The Room

**Author's Note:**

  * For [moleskinned](https://archiveofourown.org/users/moleskinned/gifts).



**Item#:** SCP-4517-J

 **Object Class:** Euclid

 **Special Containment Procedures:** Item SCP-4517-J was thought to be stationary, located permanently in an apartment building at 766 Girard St., San Francisco, CA. Agent Gladstone, embedded in the blended household of the Tanner family in the adjacent row house, was charged with maintenance of remote monitoring. Since [DATA REDACTED] the location of SCP-4517-J appears to have shifted, calling into question Dr. Kondraki's initial identification of this SCP as a spatiotemporal locus. SCP-4517-J is currently considered a _concept_ , a _state of mind_ , or (following Dr. Bright's hypothesis) a memetic virus. Consequent to [DATA REDACTED], SCP-4517-J has been upgraded from Safe to Euclid.

 _Agent Gladstone has been relieved of his post, administered a Class-A Amnesiac, and reassigned to screening humorous home videos for background signs of paranormal activity. Future assignments to guard SCP-4517-J should be restricted to agents of more stoic and less 'jovial' temperament. Playing football in the alley with citizens under the influence of SCP-4517-J is like writing your own ticket to the loony bin._ \- O5-1337

 _Indirect influence of SCP-4517-J via contact with affected citizens is the only way to explain why anyone would call this football when the players are standing about two feet away from one another._ \- Dr. Bright

Dr. Kondraki maintains that SCP-4517-J is in fact a spatiotemporal locus of activity, and that while it may migrate from one location to another, its effect is area-specific. Incident Report 4517-J-433 has been submitted as evidence that SCP-4517-J has moved to 3 Blood Street. Surveillance of 3 Blood Street and of the nearby cafe "Da Prices" has not supported Dr. Kondraki's analysis. It has, however, entertained several members of staff.

 _Incident Report 4517-J-433 and its videolog are **not** to be used as recreational viewing for class-D personnel. The next researcher who attempts this can have the honor of cleaning up the puddles under the seats in the rec room._ \- O5-1337

 **Description:** SCP-4517-J is a room. The exact location and nature of this "room" have now been called into question. It was thought to reside on the loft level of the largest apartment in 766 Girard St. Persons residing in this apartment, and persons who spend inordinate amounts of time in the apartment although they themselves are not residents, will find themselves acting in ways that do not resemble ordinary human behavior. Their spoken language will become stilted and, in some cases, ungrammatical. They will begin to employ figures of speech that are not idiomatic in their native tongue.

 _Leave your stupid comments in your pocket._ \- Dr. Kondraki

Persons who reside in the immediate vicinity of SCP-4517-J will take on inexplicable magnetism and charisma. These effects are limited to persons who interact with them face-to-face, while viewers of video surveillance find the affected persons' actions to be laughable rather than charismatic. Kondraki's team suggests a pheromone-driven basis for this magnetism, explaining its lack of effect on remote viewers. Following Kondraki's terminology for the present, the individuals are herein termed "residents" of SCP-4517-J. Alternate proposed terms include: "hosts"; "victims"; "carriers".

The residents of SCP-4517-J will become the "favorite customers" of local business owners, though their transactions are not of especially significant monetary value. Casual acquaintances will find themselves professing that the residents are "their best friends", and will behave (when in proximity to SCP-4517-J) as though the central concern of their lives is maintaining and supporting this special friendship.

The magnetism of SCP-4517-J's residents particularly affects animals, children, and the mentally disabled. In turn, the residents make unusual attempts to befriend and succor those individuals.

 _Oh, hi, doggie!_ \- Agent TPW

In an instance extensively recorded via Agent Gladstone's monitoring, one resident was seen to take full responsibility for a mentally disabled youngster in his building, to the extent of paying this youngster's rent and tuition. The youngster became unhealthily attached to the resident, developing narcissistic self-identification with said resident and exhibiting patterns of voyeurism focused only on that resident and his sexual partner, the other resident of SCP-4517-J.

The sexual habits of SCP-4517-J residents merit some discussion. Libido is increased exponentially. Inhibitions are decreased, and in the proximity of a resident, otherwise-healthy individuals may find they will engage in sexual intercourse with the resident despite their own awareness that the resident's overtures are labored and contrived. Agent Gladstone's suggestion of "beer goggles" as official designation for this effect of SCP-4517-J has been duly considered and rejected. Dr. Bright's countersuggestion of "scotchka goggles" is pending approval.

Ultimately, SCP-4517-J feeds on human brain tissue and/or despair. The contrived dramas pursuant to the residents' unnatural magnetism seem to catalyze aggression specific to competition for mates.

 _Like elephants in musth._ \- Dr. Kondraki

 **Additional:**

The relocation of the SCP-4517-J areal effect from the Girard St. address to the Blood St. address, if such relocation has indeed taken place, would be readily explained by the consumption of available humans of reproductive age in the last cathartic event at the Girard St. address. [See Incident Report 4517-J-666.] The apartment at the Girard St. address is currently inhabited by a postmenopausal female who lives alone, her previous residence having been successfully confiscated by her brother via legal action irrelevant to SCP-4517-J documentation and well outside the scope of this report. Unpleasant memories notwithstanding, she is willing to live in the Girard St. apartment because of the confiscation of her prior residence. It has been suggested that Foundation agents administer a Class-A amnesiac to this woman; the suggestion was rejected on the grounds that awareness of SCP-4517-J may affect her medical condition and we wish to continue monitoring this. Extensive exposure to SCP-4517-J may have been carcinogenic, and since its alleged relocation to Blood St., the woman's breast cancer has gone into remission.

Her daughter, a former SCP-4517-J resident, is known to be employed in Nevada at an establishment known as the Chicken Ranch. SCP operatives are to visit this woman no less frequently than once per month, to collect tissue and fluid samples under the pretext of conducting business normal to that establishment. These samples undergo testing to gauge the long-term effects of prolonged exposure to SCP-4517-J.

Monitoring of the same frequency is mandated for the former upstairs neighbor of SCP-4517-J who had been drawn by the magnetism of the then-residents into the most recent cathartic event. He has relocated to Portland, Ore., where he works as a barista and has started a garage band ("Beard Whopper"; demo tape is filed as Appendix 4517-434).

The mentally disabled youngster affected at the Girard St. address has been committed to the psychiatric ward of the hospital on Guerrero St.

Agent Chris-R has been recalled, reprimanded for his failure to interrupt the SCP-4517-J catharsis pattern, and reassigned to Keter duty.

 _He still wants his fucking money._ \- Dr. Bright

**Author's Note:**

> Format, etc, completely cribbed from the [SCP Foundation](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.org). Doctors Kondraki and Bright are not mine; various agents supplied in this text are, sort of. I leave Agent Gladstone's identity as an exercise for the TGIF-loving reader.
> 
> (Edited to fix the broken link to the SCP wiki and to add: The house on 3 Blood Street is, of course, the [House that Drips Blood on Alex](http://www.atom.com/channel/channel_the_house_that_drips_blood_on_alex/), as per moleskinned's suggestion! Thank you for introducing me to this masterwork of modern cinema, moleskinned. I had never seen it before I read the prompt. Now ... I can never un-see it.)


End file.
